300 Best Holiday Themed Borg Names: Festive Choice List

Resistance is futile. You will be festive.

If you are a Trekkie, you know the drill. The holidays usually hit like a chaotic nebula of family drama, endless shopping lists, and forced smiles. Sometimes, you just want to crawl into a regeneration alcove and power down until January. But since you can’t escape the holiday hive mind, you might as well have a laugh with it.

I’ve been a sci-fi geek for thirty years, and nothing cracks me up quite like mixing the cold, ruthlessly efficient syntax of the Borg with the warm, fuzzy, and often chaotic energy of the holidays. Finding the Best Holiday Themed Borg Names isn’t just about making puns; it’s a survival mechanism. It’s about looking at a plate of dry turkey and identifying it as “Nutrient Supplement 4 of 6” so you don’t lose your mind.

Whether you need a witty handle for your winter gaming sessions, a killer name for your fantasy football team, or just something to write on a gift tag for that one cousin who speaks fluent Klingon, I’ve got you covered.

Also Read: Black Girl Names with Beautiful Meanings and Best Cool Last Names with Meanings

Key Takeaways

• Assimilation is Fun: Merging Borg efficiency with holiday whimsy creates a humor that just works.
• Versatility: Use these for gaming, social media, or just to annoy your family at dinner.
• Syntax Matters: The formula is simple: numbers + holiday noun + hierarchy.
• Inclusivity: We cover Christmas, Hanukkah, Solstice, and New Year’s because the Collective takes everyone.
• Lore Friendly: Real Star Trek fans will catch the deep-cut references immediately.

Why Do We Love Mixing the Borg with Jingle Bells?

Think about it. The holidays are basically a Collective. We all swarm the malls at the same time. We chant the same carols. We wear matching pajamas. It’s uncanny.

I remember my first “Star Trek” themed holiday party back in college. I thought I was being clever by wrapping myself in aluminum foil and Christmas lights. I walked in, deadpan, and introduced myself as “Locutus of Tinsel.” The room went silent for a beat, and then the place erupted. That was the moment I realized the comedic gold mine of Borg nomenclature. It breaks the ice. It tells people you take the lore seriously, but you don’t take yourself too seriously.

The Borg are all about perfection, order, and silence. The holidays? They are messy, loud, and imperfect. Smashing them together creates this comedic friction that just resonates with anyone who loves the genre.

How Can You Construct Your Own Borg Holiday Designation?

Before we get to the list, let’s talk strategy. You don’t just mash words together. A Borg designation has a rhythm. It’s precise. A true drone knows its place in the pecking order.

To create the Best Holiday Themed Borg Names, use this simple active voice formula:

1. The Designation: Pick a fraction (Seven of Nine, Third of Five).
2. The Adjunct: Pick a role or location (Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero-One).
3. The Holiday Twist: Swap the sci-fi jargon for festive stuff.

Don’t say “Third of Five.” Say “Third of Fruitcake.” Don’t say “Unimatrix Zero-One.” Say “Unimatrix North Pole.” It’s simple, it hits hard, and people get it instantly.

What Are the Top Santa-Inspired Designations?

Santa Claus is basically the Queen of his own Collective. The guy runs a tight ship. He monitors behavior globally. He distributes resources in a single night. He is the ultimate efficiency expert. Here is how the Borg would identify the Big Guy and his operation.

1. Primary Function: Kringle – The absolute boss of the North Pole operation.
2. Locutus of North Pole – The voice of the festive hive mind (and my personal favorite).
3. One of Naughty List – A drone marked for coal distribution.
4. One of Nice List – A drone marked for reward protocols.
5. Santa of Prime Directive – Ensuring non-interference with non-believing cultures.
6. St. Nick of Sector 001 – The official designation for Earth’s gift-giver.
7. Drone Father Christmas – The traditional European title, assimilated.
8. Papa Noel of the Delta Quadrant – Bringing joy to the furthest reaches of space.
9. Claus of the Collective – The central node of holiday cheer.
10. The Red Suit Drone – Identified solely by his crimson armor.
11. Chimney Descent Unit 1 – Specialized for tight squeeze entry tactics.
12. Gift Distributor Alpha – The primary logistical officer.
13. Kris Kringle of Unimatrix Zero – The dream-state version of Santa.
14. The Bearded One of Borg – Respecting the facial hair via designation.
15. Sleigh Pilot Beta – The one who steers the reindeer (Santa or an elf).
16. Milk and Cookie Processor – The drone designed to consume offerings.
17. Saint Nicholas of the Hive – A reverent title for the leader.
18. Jolly Drone 01 – Programmed for maximum merriment.
19. Father Winter of the Nexus – An ancient, mystical variation.
20. The Claus Assimilator – He doesn’t just visit; he makes you part of the fun.

I once used “Locutus of North Pole” as my display name during a December World of Warcraft raid. I got so many “Resistance is Futile” whispers that the wipe on the final boss didn’t even sting.

Do Reindeer Make Good Drones?

Reindeer act like a unit. They have a clear leader (Rudolph). They fly in formation. They are practically biological ships. Assimilating the reindeer names gives you some of the most rhythmic titles on this list.

21. Rudolph the Red-Node Drone – The one with the glowing sensor array.
22. Dasher of Warp Speed – The fastest drone in the fleet.
23. Dancer of the Disco Collective – The one with the best rhythmic subroutines.
24. Prancer of Propulsion – Responsible for lift and elegance.
25. Vixen of Velocity – The speed demon of the pack.
26. Comet of the Cosmos – Named after celestial bodies, perfect for space travel.
27. Cupid of Kinetic Energy – The lovestruck engine of the sleigh.
28. Donner of Detonation – Bringing the thunder (literally).
29. Blitzen of Bio-Electricity – Bringing the lightning.
30. Olive the Other Drone – A play on the “Olive the Other Reindeer” pun.
31. Red Nose Sensor Array – Describing Rudolph’s nose functionally.
32. Antler Unit 7 – A designation for a standard reindeer.
33. Hoof Propulsion System – The mechanism of flight.
34. Guide of the Sleigh Collective – The lead navigator.
35. Fog Navigator Alpha – Specialized for poor weather conditions.
36. Caribou of the Continuum – Making the species sound multidimensional.
37. Fly-System Reindeer One – The technical term for a flying deer.
38. Roof Landing Gear – Specialized for shingles and slate.
39. Carrot Processor Unit – Fueled by root vegetables.
40. The Ninth Reindeer of Unimatrix – The numerical designation for Rudolph.

How Do We Assimilate Holiday Food and Drink?

Food brings people together, but let’s be honest, it also knocks you out. That “food coma” feeling? That is just your body regenerating. I have a buddy who calls his stomach the “Biomatter Reclamation Unit” every Thanksgiving. It never gets old.

When you stare at that holiday spread, try to see it through a cybernetic eye.

41. Seven of Wine – Because one glass is never enough for a Borg.
42. Three of Pie – Referring to the number of slices you plan to eat.
43. Locutus of Eggnog – The speaker for the creamy, boozy drink.
44. Drone of the Turkey Leg – The one who claims the best meat.
45. Gravy Distributor Unit – The person holding the boat.
46. Cranberry Sauce Cylinder – Acknowledging the can shape.
47. Stuffing Compactor – What happens to your stomach after dinner.
48. Ham Glaze Specialist – The chef responsible for the sweetness.
49. Yule Log Burner – Either the cake or the fire; works for both.
50. Gingerbread Architect – The builder of cookie houses.
51. Cookie Consumer 5 of 9 – A drone midway through a cookie binge.
52. Sugar Plum Fairy Drone – A whimsical ballet reference, borgified.
53. Candy Cane Sharpener – We all do it; turn the candy into a weapon.
54. Peppermint Processor – Someone who loves minty treats.
55. Hot Cocoa Temperature Regulator – Ensuring no burnt tongues.
56. Marshmallow of Softness – The squishy addition to cocoa.
57. Fruitcake Density Unit – Acknowledging that fruitcake is heavy as a black hole.
58. Nutcracker Piston – The mechanical jaw of the toy.
59. Roast Beast Carver – The Dr. Seuss reference given a sharp edge.
60. Figgy Pudding Replicator – Demanding the pudding immediately.
61. Cider Warmer Beta – The appliance keeping the drink hot.
62. Latke Fryer Unit – The oil specialist for Hanukkah.
63. Gelt Detector – Searching for chocolate gold coins.
64. Sufganiyot Injector – Filling the donuts with jelly.
65. Champagne Popper – The dangerous job of opening the bottle.
66. Leftover Storage Module – The Tupperware organizer.
67. Tryptophan Sleep Mode – The inevitable post-turkey crash.
68. Calorie Counter Override – Disabling the diet for the holidays.
69. Diet Resistance is Futile – Admitting defeat to the buffet.
70. Buffet Line Terminator – The one who finishes all the food.

Can Decorations Be Assimilated?

Decorating the house is basically just terraforming your living room. You hang lights, erect structures, and alter the aesthetic to match the seasonal programming. My wife hates when I call the Christmas tree “The Central Power Column,” but she tolerates it because I do the heavy lifting.

71. Tinsel Entangler – The drone who gets caught in the shiny stuff.
72. Ornament Hanger Drone – The standard worker bee of decorating.
73. Star of the Tree Topper – The crowning glory of the tree.
74. Angel of the Apex – An alternative to the Star designation.
75. Light Strand Untangler – The hardest job in the Collective; requires patience.
76. Garland Weaver – The one draping the greenery.
77. Wreath of Borg – A circular symbol of assimilation on the door.
78. Mistletoe Hover Unit – Hanging the kissing trap.
79. Snow Globe Shaker – Agitating the miniature world.
80. Stocking Filler 4 of 4 – Completing the task of small gifts.
81. Wrapping Paper Algorithm – Determining how to cut the paper perfectly.
82. Tape Dispenser Mech – The tool that always disappears.
83. Bow Tier Alpha – The expert at making pretty ribbons.
84. Scissor Operator – The one allowed to run with scissors (carefully).
85. Gift Tag Scanner – Identifying the recipient.
86. Box Assembler – Putting together the cardboard containers.
87. Bubble Light Monitor – Watching those old-school lights bubble.
88. Candle Igniter – Managing the open flames.
89. Menorah Lighter Bot – Responsible for the Hanukkah lights.
90. Kinara Keeper – Guardian of the Kwanzaa candle holder.
91. Dreidel Spinner Mechanism – The hand that spins the top.
92. Pine Needle Sweeper – The drone cleaning up the mess.
93. Artificial Tree Erector – Building the fake tree from the box.
94. Ornament Hooker – Dealing with those tiny metal hooks.
95. Inflatable Lawn Drone – The giant blow-up Santa on the lawn.
96. Nativity Arranger – Setting up the manger scene.
97. Village Set Architect – Building the tiny ceramic town.
98. Train Set Conductor – Running the electric train around the tree.
99. Extension Cord Manager – Daisy-chaining power for the lights.
100. Fuse Replacer – Fixing the lights when they blow out.

What About the “Seven of Nine” Variations?

“Seven of Nine” is the most iconic Borg designation. It flows. It sounds elegant yet robotic. Adapting this specific syntax is the gold standard for Best Holiday Themed Borg Names. You simply replace the numbers or the nouns to fit the theme.

101. Seven of Pine – A tree-scented variation.
102. Seven of Wine – Vital for surviving family gatherings.
103. Twelve of Days – Referencing the famous song duration.
104. Eight of Nights – Referencing the duration of Hanukkah.
105. One of Year – The singular nature of the holiday season.
106. Five of Rings – The “golden rings” verse.
107. Two of Doves – The “turtle doves” verse.
108. Three of Hens – The “French hens” verse.
109. Four of Birds – The “calling birds” verse.
110. Six of Geese – The “geese a-laying” verse.
111. Seven of Swans – The “swans a-swimming” verse.
112. Eight of Maids – The “maids a-milking” verse.
113. Nine of Ladies – The “ladies dancing” verse.
114. Ten of Lords – The “lords a-leaping” verse.
115. Eleven of Pipers – The “pipers piping” verse.
116. Twelve of Drummers – The “drummers drumming” verse.
117. Zero of Chill – When you have no patience left.
118. Hundred of Lights – Referring to a string of Christmas lights.
119. Partridge of Pear Tree – The bird that started it all.
120. Ghost of Christmas Past – A spectral variation on the designation.

How Does the Collective Handle Winter Weather?

The Borg love the cold. Space is, after all, about 2.7 Kelvin. The vacuum is their natural habitat. So, winter weather on Earth shouldn’t bother a drone. In fact, they probably function better without their cooling systems overheating while I’m out here shivering while shoveling the driveway.

121. Sub-Zero Unit – A drone designed for freezing temps.
122. Frost Bite Drone – The sensation of cold toes, personified.
123. Snowflake Pattern Analyzer – Admiring the unique geometry of snow.
124. Ice Shield Generator – Scraping the windshield of the car.
125. Blizzard Navigator – Driving through whiteout conditions.
126. Slush Trudger – Walking through gray, melted snow.
127. Black Ice Detector – Finding the slippery spots on the road.
128. Wind Chill Calculator – “It feels like -10 out there.”
129. Polar Vortex Manipulator – Blaming the weather patterns.
130. Icicle Formation Watcher – Staring at the roof spikes.
131. Snow Angel Creator – Making indentations in the powder.
132. Snowball Trajectory Calculator – Aiming for your brother’s head.
133. Sled Velocity Optimizer – Greasing the sled for maximum speed.
134. Toboggan Pilot – Steering the long sled.
135. Ski Lift Operator Drone – Managing the mountain transport.
136. Fireplace Stoker – Keeping the heat source alive.
137. Thermal Layer Unit – Putting on long underwear.
138. Wool Scarf Adjuster – Keeping the neck warm.
139. Mitten Pincer Hand – Losing dexterity due to thick gloves.
140. Boot Heater Alpha – Essential tech for cold feet.
141. Shovel Operator 9 – The manual labor of winter.
142. Plow Driver Beta – The hero clearing the streets.
143. Salt Spreader – Melting the ice on the walkway.
144. Defroster Unit – Waiting for the car windows to clear.
145. Cabin Fever Subject – Going crazy from staying inside.
146. Hibernation Mode – Sleeping until spring.
147. Solstice Observer – Celebrating the shortest day.
148. Long Night Watcher – Staying up on the solstice.
149. Short Day Worker – Leaving work when it’s already dark.
150. Equinox Drone – Awaiting the balance of seasons.

Are There Names for the Grinches and Scrooges?

Look, not everyone loves the holidays. Some people resist the festive programming hard. in the Star Trek universe, resistance is futile, but in the holiday universe, resistance makes you a Scrooge. But even the cynics deserve cool Borg names.

I recall a buddy of mine going through a rough breakup right before New Year’s. He refused to go to any parties. He sat on his couch playing video games. He changed his chat handle to “Grinch of Unimatrix Zero.” It was his way of signaling, “I am here, but I am not happy about it.” We respected the designation.

151. Ebenezer of Borg – The classic miser, assimilated.
152. Grinch of the Mountain – The hairy green cynic.
153. Humbug Generator – Someone who constantly complains.
154. Coal Distributor – Handing out punishments.
155. Spirit Crusher – Someone who hates fun.
156. Joy Suppressor – The anti-party drone.
157. Carol Silencer – “Turn that music off!”
158. Smile Eraser – Bringing bad vibes to the room.
159. Gift Hoarder – Keeping everything for themselves.
160. Festivity Dampener – A wet blanket at the party.
161. Party Pooper Drone – Self-explanatory.
162. Noise Complaint Filer – Calling the cops on the neighbors.
163. Decoration Dismantler – Taking things down on Dec 26th.
164. Tree Toppler – The cat, usually.
165. Cookie Crumbler – Ruining the sweets.
166. Milk Spoiler – Letting the dairy go bad.
167. Krampus of the Collective – The scary Christmas monster.
168. Switch Deliverer – Bringing sticks instead of toys.
169. Nightmare Before Borg – A spooky twist on the season.
170. Jack Skellington Drone – The Pumpkin King trying to be Santa.
171. Oogie Boogie Bot – The gambling villain.
172. Lonely Elf – Someone spending the holidays solo.
173. Island of Misfit Toys Administrator – Managing the outcasts.
174. Bumble Tamer – Handling the Abominable Snow Monster.
175. Yukon Cornelius Miner – Searching for gold (and peppermint).
176. Burgermeister Meisterburger Drone – Outlawing toys.
177. Heat Miser Control – Preferring a hot Christmas.
178. Snow Miser Control – Preferring a cold Christmas.
179. Winter Warlock – The magical recluse.
180. Magician of Hat – Reference to Frosty’s magic hat.

How Do Movies and Pop Culture Fit In?

We watch the same movies every year. Die Hard, Home Alone, Elf. These films are programmed into our brains. Assimilating the titles or characters from these movies creates an instant connection with other fans.

181. Nakatomi Plaza Drone – For the Die Hard truthers.
182. McClane of the Vents – Crawling through ducts like a drone.
183. Hans Gruber of the Fall – The villain’s final moment.
184. McCallister of the Traps – The Home Alone tactical genius.
185. Wet Bandit 1 – Marv, the water-leaver.
186. Wet Bandit 2 – Harry, the mastermind.
187. Sticky Bandit Alpha – The re-branded duo in New York.
188. Kevin of the Scream – The iconic hands-on-face moment.
189. Buddy the Elf Drone – The oversized elf from Elf.
190. Cotton Headed Ninny Muggins – The ultimate elf insult.
191. Narwhal of the Sea – “Bye Buddy, hope you find your dad.”
192. Griswold of the Lights – Clark’s obsession with illumination.
193. Cousin Eddie of the RV – The unwanted guest.
194. Moose Mug Drinker – Sipping eggnog from glass antlers.
195. Jelly of the Month Club Member – The gift that keeps on giving.
196. Ralphie of the Red Ryder – The kid who wants the BB gun.
197. BB Gun Marksman – “You’ll shoot your eye out.”
198. Leg Lamp Illuminator – The “major award” in the window.
199. Pink Nightmare Wearer – The bunny suit victim.
200. Scut Farkus Bully Drone – The kid with the yellow eyes.
201. Turbo Man Hunter – Searching for the Jingle All The Way toy.
202. Jingle All The Way Drone – The chaotic shopper.
203. Gremlin in the Microwave – A dark scene from Gremlins.
204. Gizmo of the Box – The cute Mogwai.
205. Stripe of the Fountain – The leader of the bad batch.
206. Ghostbuster of Yule – Watching Ghostbusters 2 on New Year’s.
207. Vigo the Carpathian Drone – The painting villain.
208. Mood Slime Monitor – The pink goo that reacts to emotions.
209. Statue of Liberty Walker – Making Lady Liberty walk.
210. Auld Lang Syne Singer – Attempting the lyrics everyone forgets.

Can We Use Dates as Designations?

The Borg love numbers. The calendar is nothing but numbers. This is the most natural fit for Best Holiday Themed Borg Names. You literally just take the date and make it your name. It sounds official and ominous.

211. Twenty-Five of Twelve – Christmas Day (December 25).
212. Thirty-One of Twelve – New Year’s Eve (December 31).
213. One of One – New Year’s Day (January 1).
214. Twenty-Four of Twelve – Christmas Eve (December 24).
215. Twenty-Six of Twelve – Boxing Day (December 26).
216. First of Hanukkah – The start of the Festival of Lights.
217. Eighth of Hanukkah – The conclusion of the festival.
218. Kwanzaa Day One – Umoja (Unity).
219. Kwanzaa Day Seven – Imani (Faith).
220. Solstice Point Zero – The exact moment of the Winter Solstice.

What About Office Party Titles?

The office party is a unique battlefield. You have the gossip, the bad food, the awkward dancing, and the boss trying to be cool. You need a designation that protects you in that environment.

221. HR Violation Monitor – Watching for inappropriate behavior.
222. Copier Room Supervisor – Where the weird stuff happens.
223. Secret Santa Organizer – The person managing the gift exchange.
224. White Elephant Trader – Stealing the good gifts.
225. Bad Gift Recycler – Re-gifting that candle.
226. Punch Bowl Guard – Ensuring nobody spikes it (or ensuring they do).
227. DJ of the iPod – Controlling the party playlist.
228. Karaoke Volunteer – The first one to sing “All I Want For Christmas.”
229. Mistletoe Avoider – Dodging awkward romantic encounters.
230. Cubicle Decorator – Wrapping their desk in paper.
231. Stapler in Jello Drone – A The Office prank reference.
232. Bonus Check Receiver – The only reason we are here.
233. Holiday Pay Calculator – Doing the math on time-and-a-half.
234. Overtime Worker – Stuck at the desk while others party.
235. Deadline Extender – Pushing work to January.
236. Out of Office Responder – Setting the auto-reply email.
237. Email Ignorer – Checking out mentally.
238. Slack Channel Muter – Silencing the notifications.
239. Zoom Call Background Changer – Putting a fireplace behind you.
240. Ugly Sweater Champion – Winning the contest.

How Do We Incorporate Spiritual and Global Traditions?

The Collective assimilates everyone. Species 8472 might be resistant, but Earth’s cultures are easy pickings. We need to represent the vast array of Earth’s winter festivals properly.

241. Menorah Monitor – Watching the candles burn down.
242. Shamash Candle – The “helper” candle that lights the others.
243. Gimmel Spinner – Winning the whole pot in Dreidel.
244. Hay Dropper – Landing on “He” (half the pot).
245. Nun Flipper – Landing on “Nun” (nothing happens).
246. Shin Setter – Landing on “Shin” (put one in).
247. Maccabee Warrior Drone – Referencing the historical fighters.
248. Oil Preserver – Celebrating the miracle of the oil.
249. Temple Restorer – The historical context of Hanukkah.
250. Umoja Keeper – Unity (Kwanzaa principle).
251. Kujichagulia Drone – Self-Determination (Kwanzaa principle).
252. Ujima Worker – Collective Work and Responsibility.
253. Ujamaa Economist – Cooperative Economics.
254. Nia Purpose Unit – Purpose.
255. Kuumba Creator – Creativity.
256. Imani Believer – Faith.
257. Kinara Lighter – The one lighting the Kwanzaa candles.
258. Corn Harvest Drone – Reference to the agricultural roots.
259. Cup of Unity Holder – The Kikombe cha Umoja.
260. Mat Builder – The Mkeka (mat) used in Kwanzaa.
261. Diya Lamp Lighter – For those celebrating Diwali late in the year.
262. Rangoli Designer – Creating patterns on the floor.
263. Ombre of Light – General festival of lights reference.
264. Yule Log Dragger – The Pagan tradition of burning the log.
265. Holly King – The winter persona in folklore.
266. Oak King – The summer persona (defeated by Holly King).
267. Druid of the Solstice – Celebrating at Stonehenge.
268. Stone Circle Keeper – Guardian of ancient sites.
269. Sun Returner – Welcoming longer days.
270. Long Night Ender – Marking the end of darkness.

What Are Some “Deep Cut” Star Trek References?

For the hardcore fans, the ones who know exactly what “Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra” means, we need names that reference specific episodes but with a holiday twist.

Check out Memory Alpha for a refresher on Borg designations if you want to create your own deep cuts.

271. Locutus of Porthos – Archer’s Dog needs love (and cheese).
272. Hugh of the Holidays – Referencing the individualist drone “Hugh.”
273. Lore of the Rings – A pun on Data’s evil brother, Lore.
274. Data of the Snow – Our favorite android enjoying winter.
275. Picard’s Flute Player – From The Inner Light, but festive.
276. Earl Grey Hot Drone – Picard’s favorite beverage order.
277. Riker’s Beard Trimmer – The beard is legendary; it needs maintenance.
278. Troi of the Chocolate Cake – Deanna Troi loves chocolate; it’s canon.
279. Worf of the Merry Man – “I am not a merry man!” (Yes you are).
280. Q of the Mistletoe – Q would definitely abuse mistletoe rules.
281. Guinan of the Prune Juice – A warrior’s drink.
282. Nexus Ribbon Chaser – From Generations (Christmas movie vibes).
283. Borg Queen of Hearts – A mashup with Alice in Wonderland.
284. Unimatrix Zero Hero – The resistance movement within the Borg.
285. Omega Molecule Ornament – The perfection the Borg seek, on a tree.
286. Transwarp Hub Traveler – Using the hub to get home for holidays.
287. Sphere Builder – The enemies from Enterprise, building snowballs.
288. Cube Constructor – Building a gingerbread Borg cube.
289. Nanoprobe Injector – Administering the vaccine or the cheer.
290. Assimilation Tubule Cleaner – Hygiene is important for drones.

The Final Countdown: New Year’s Eve Borgs

The end of the year is just a reset of the chronological parameters. It is time to purge the error logs of the previous year and install new updates (and maybe chug some water for hydration).

291. Resolution Maker – Setting goals you will delete later.
292. Resolution Breaker – Failing those goals by Jan 2nd.
293. Ball Drop Observer – Watching the Times Square event.
294. Confetti Cannon – The explosive celebration unit.
295. Champagne Toaster – Raising a glass to survival.
296. Midnight Kisser – Finding a partner for 12:00 AM.
297. Countdown Timer – “10, 9, 8…”
298. Party Hat Wearer – Looking silly but complying.
299. Noise Maker – Blowing those plastic horns.
300. Next Year Drone – “New year, new me.”

How Will You Use These Names?

We have covered a lot of ground here. From Santa to Sisko, from reindeer to romulans. The beauty of the Borg designation is its modularity. You can take any aspect of your holiday experience—the stress, the joy, the food, the cold—and “Borg-ify” it.

I will never forget the look on my grandmother’s face when I signed her card “Third of Grandchildren.” She didn’t get the reference, but she laughed because it sounded so official. And that is really the point. The holidays can be stressful. We run around trying to make everything perfect, trying to be the perfect drone in the family hive.

Sometimes, you just need to embrace the absurdity. Put on the ugly sweater. Drink the eggnog. Assimilate the joy.

So, choose your designation. Update your social media profile. Tell your raid leader you are now “Rudolph of Unimatrix One.”

Resistance is futile. Happy Holidays.

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