I was ten years old when “The Best of Both Worlds” aired. I’m talking about the cliffhanger that ruined the summer of 1990 for every nerd on the playground. I sat there on my parents’ shag carpet, staring at Captain Picard with that laser pointer glued to his head, and I didn’t sleep for a week. It was terrifying. The Borg weren’t just bad guys; they were a force of nature. They stripped you of your name, your clothes, and your personality, leaving you as nothing more than a serial number in a walking distinctiveness-deletion machine.
Fast forward thirty years. The fear is gone. Now? The Borg are hilarious.
Maybe it’s a coping mechanism. Maybe we just realized that a race of cybernetic zombies who insist on announcing their plans over a loudspeaker is actually ripe for comedy. They are the ultimate “Straight Man” to the universe’s joke. That is exactly why we love messing with their naming conventions. You aren’t here because you want to be “Third of Five.” You’re here because you want to name your gaming PC “404 of Found” or your fantasy football team “Seven of Nine Yards.”
I’ve spent way too much time thinking about this. I’ve compiled the Best Creative Borg Names that mash up the terrifying Collective with the absolute absurdity of pop culture.
Whether you need a gamertag, a Wi-Fi name that scares the neighbors, or just something to annoy your IT guy, I’ve got the goods.
Also Read: Best Pharmacy Team Names with Meanings and Private Story Names
Key Takeaways
- Pop Culture Mashing: The funniest names come from taking the rigid, cold “X of Y” syntax and smashing it into song lyrics or movie quotes.
- Context is King: A name like “Blue of Screen” lands harder if you work in tech. Read the room before you assimilate.
- Irony Wins: The Borg have zero sense of humor. That is their weakness. Exploiting it is our duty as humans.
- The DIY Guide: I’ll show you exactly how to build these so you can annoy your friends with custom designations.
Why are we still obsessed with these guys?
It’s weird, right? Star Trek: TNG went off the air decades ago. Yet, we keep coming back to the Borg.
I have a theory. We live in a world where we are constantly plugged in. I check Twitter before I pee in the morning. I have a smartwatch that buzzes when I haven’t stood up in an hour. We are basically already cyborgs; we just wear better sneakers. We mock the Borg because we are terrified that we are the Borg.
I used to work at a Blockbuster Video—ask your parents—back in the early 2000s. We had this return bin that was always overflowing. It was a chaotic mess of late fees and unrewound tapes. My manager, a guy named Dave who took his job way too seriously, called it “The Intake Protocol.” So, naturally, I labeled the bin “Resistance is Futile.” Dave didn’t laugh. But every customer who dropped off a late copy of Titanic did.
Finding the Best Creative Borg Names is about reclaiming our humanity. It’s about looking at the cold, hard face of technology and drawing a mustache on it.
The Rhythm Section (Musical Assimilations)
The Borg have no soul. They can’t dance. I assume their playlists are just three hours of dial-up modem sounds. That is why mashing up Billboard hits with drone designations works so well. It’s the ultimate clash of styles.
Here are the designations for those of you who like to rock.
Classic Rock and Pop Drones
- Jenny of 867-5309 (I refuse to apologize for getting this stuck in your head)
- Summer of 69 (The drone that bought its first six-string at the five-and-dime)
- 99 of Balloons (Specializes in red atmospheric probes)
- Edge of 17 (Stevie Nicks would absolutely survive assimilation)
- Bohemian of Rhapsody (Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango?)
- Rocket of Man (It’s lonely out in space)
- Sweet of Child (O’ Mine – The Slash of drones)
- Sultan of Swing (He doesn’t want to make it cry or sing)
- Piano of Man (Put bread in his jar, man)
- Tiny of Dancer (Hold me closer, cybernetic taxi driver)
- Walk of Life (The woo-hoo song drone)
- Eye of Tiger (Rising up, back on the street)
- Dust of Wind (Deep thoughts for a drone)
- Sound of Silence (Darkness is his old friend)
- Bridge of Troubled Water (He will lay himself down)
- Stairway of Heaven (Denied access. No Stairway allowed.)
- Hotel of California (You can check out anytime, but you can never leave the Collective)
- Ace of Spades (The only card I need)
- Comfortably of Numb (This explains the lack of emotion perfectly)
- Owner of Lonely Heart (Much better than the owner of a broken heart)
- Power of Love (It’s a curious thing. Makes one drone weep, makes another drone sing)
- Total of Eclipse (Turn around, bright eyes)
- Video of Star (We can’t rewind, we’ve gone too far)
- Africa of Toto (He takes a lot to drag him away from you)
- Final of Countdown (Keyboard solo ensues)
Hip Hop and R&B Unimatrix
- 99 of Problems (But a glitch ain’t one)
- Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (West Philadelphia born and raised)
- Drop of Like It’s Hot (Snooooooop)
- Mo of Money (Mo of problems, ironically)
- Straight Outta of Compton (Crazy drone named Cube)
- California of Love (Assimilating to the party)
- Gin of Juice (With my mind on my money)
- Real of Slim Shady (Please stand up. We have a problem here.)
- Gangsta of Paradise (Even Ezekiel thinks his mind is gone)
- Jump of Around (Pack it up, pack it in, let me begin)
- Insane in of Membrane (This one actually makes medical sense for a cyborg)
- Push of It (Salt-N-Pepa approved)
- Bust of Move (You want it, you got it)
- Hypnotize of Biggie (I love it when you call me Big Poppa)
- Lose of Yourself (Mom’s spaghetti)
- Gold of Digger (She ain’t messin’ with no broke drone)
- Hot of Herre (Take off all your armor)
- Empire of Mind (Concrete jungle where dreams are made of)
- Humble of Sit Down (Be humble. Biyombo.)
- God of Plan (I only love my bed and my momma, I’m sorry)
- Old Town of Road (Riding ’til he can’t no more)
- Bad and of Boujee (Cooking up dope in the crockpot)
- Savage of Megan (Classy, boujee, ratchet)
- Truth of Hurts (I just took a DNA test)
- WAP of Cardi (I am not explaining this acronym to the Collective)
The Cinematic Sector (Movie Buffs)
Movies are our cultural shorthand. I have a buddy who speaks almost entirely in Predator quotes. When he got married, I suggested he name his first kid “Dutch.” His wife vetoed it. But you can’t veto a Borg name.
Here is the cinema wing of the Collective.
The Action & Sci-Fi Block
- Lord of Rings (One drone to rule them all, one drone to find them)
- Fellowship of Ring (And my axe!)
- Return of King (Bow to no one)
- Phantom of Menace (We don’t talk about this drone often)
- Attack of Clones (I don’t like sand. It’s coarse and rough.)
- Revenge of Sith (I have the high ground!)
- New of Hope (These aren’t the drones you’re looking for)
- Empire of Strikes (I know.)
- Return of Jedi (Yub nub)
- Force of Awakens (That’s not how the Force works!)
- Last of Jedi (Amazing. Every word of what you just said was wrong.)
- Rise of Skywalker (Somehow, the Emperor returned)
- Matrix of Reloaded (Whoa.)
- Terminator of 2 (Come with me if you want to live)
- Predator of Arnold (Stick around)
- Die of Hard (Welcome to the party, pal)
- Mad of Max (Mediocre!)
- Blade of Runner (I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe)
- Fifth of Element (Big Bada Boom)
- Star of Trek (Getting way too meta now)
- Wrath of Khan (From hell’s heart I stab at thee)
- Search of Spock (Good for trivia nights)
- Voyage of Home (Hello, computer)
- Final of Frontier (What does God need with a starship?)
- Undiscovered of Country (Let them die!)
The Horror and Thriller Sector
- Silence of Lambs (I ate his liver with some fava beans)
- Texas of Chainsaw (The saw is family)
- Nightmare of Elm (Don’t fall asleep)
- Friday of 13th (Ch-ch-ch, ah-ah-ah)
- Halloween of Michael (He came home)
- Shining of Jack (All work and no play makes Jack a dull drone)
- Exorcist of Regan (Your mother sews socks that smell)
- Thing of Carpenter (Tied to a chair, testing blood)
- Alien of Ripley (Get away from her, you witch!)
- Jaws of Brody (Smile, you son of a…)
- Psycho of Bates (A boy’s best friend is his mother)
- Birds of Hitchcock (Don’t go into the attic)
- Omen of Damien (Look at me, Damien!)
- Poltergeist of Carol (Step into the light)
- Scream of Ghostface (What’s your favorite scary movie?)
- Saw of Jigsaw (Game over)
- Ring of Samara (You will die in seven days)
- Grudge of Kayako (That horrible croaking sound)
- Nun of Valak (The painting is watching you)
- Conjuring of Warren (Clap clap)
- Insidious of Lambert (Tiptoe through the tulips)
- Sinister of Bughuul (Lawnmower scene. Use with caution.)
- Purge of Anarchy (Just one night a year)
- Get of Out (Where are the keys?!)
- Us of Tethered (Red jumpsuits are in this season)
The Kitchen Staff (Culinary Collectives)
I tried to bake bread once. It came out looking like a brick and tasting like despair. If I had a drone to handle the measurements, maybe I wouldn’t be banned from my own oven. Use these for your kitchen gadgets.
- Slice of Life (Pizza cutter designation)
- Cream of Crop (The barista drone)
- Salt of Earth (Handles the sodium levels)
- Piece of Cake (Specializes in easy victories)
- Cup of Joe (The most vital drone in the morning shift)
- Grapes of Wrath (Don’t let this drone near the wine cellar)
- Proof of Pudding (The taste tester)
- Spice of Life (Variety is inefficient, but tasty)
- Apple of Eye (Keeps the doctor away)
- Bread of Butter (The reliable one)
- Meat of Potatoes (No frills, just assimilation)
- Big of Cheese (The Shift Manager)
- Top of Banana (Assistant Shift Manager)
- Cool of Cucumber (Pressure regulator)
- Bad of Apple (One spoils the whole Unimatrix)
- Tough of Cookie (Shield modulation expert)
- Smart of Cookie (Tactical algorithm drone)
- Couch of Potato (Regeneration cycle specialist)
- Hot of Tamale (Firewall expert)
- Bun of Oven (New recruit currently incubating)
- Icing of Cake (Secondary decorative protocols)
- Cherry of Top (The final addition)
- Egg of Face (Tactical error reporting)
- Spill of Beans (Information leak containment)
- Cry of Milk (It’s spilled. Move on.)
The Meme Lords (Internet Culture)
The Internet is the real hive mind. We all know it. We share the same five jokes until they die a painful death. The Borg would love Reddit.
- Doge of Coin (Such cybernetic. Much wow.)
- Pepe of Frog (Feels bad, drone)
- Karen of Manager (This drone demands to speak to the Queen immediately)
- Boomer of OK (The drone that still uses a BlackBerry)
- Cat of Grumpy (Assimilation? No.)
- Rick of Roll (He is never gonna give you up)
- Nyan of Cat (Emits a rainbow trail through warp space)
- Face of Palm (Picard’s personal favorite designation)
- Yolo of Swag (Deleted from the database for annoyance)
- Bae of Salt (Sprinkles nanoprobes with flair)
- Tea of Kermit (But that’s none of my business)
- Boy of Dat (Oh shoot, waddup!)
- Distracted of Boyfriend (Scanning other species while walking with you)
- Mocking of Spongebob (ReSiStAnCe Is FuTiLe – spelled exactly like that)
- Woman of Cat (Yelling at a drone sitting at a table)
- Pikachu of Surprised (Mouth open in shock)
- Two of Buttons (Sweating over which button to press)
- Change of Mind (Sitting at a table: “Assimilation is good. Change my mind.”)
- This of Fine (Everything is burning, but I am okay)
- Exit of 12 (Drifting the cube off the highway)
- Stonks of Rising (Graph goes up!)
- Bernie of Mittens (Sitting in a folding chair, unimpressed)
- Lisa of Presentation (Explaining why resistance is futile on a whiteboard)
- Uno of Reverse (No u)
- Area of 51 (Running with arms back like Naruto)
The Fantasy League (Sports Editions)
I am terrible at sports. I was the kid in right field picking dandelions. But I am great at watching sports and yelling at the TV. These names are gold for your fantasy leagues.
- Babe of Ruth (Pointing to the fences)
- Michael of Jordan (And I took that personally)
- LeBron of James (Taking his talents to the Delta Quadrant)
- Tiger of Woods (Sunday red drone)
- Serena of Williams (Grand Slam drone)
- Tom of Brady (He just won’t retire. He’s immortal.)
- Lionel of Messi (Magical dribbling drone)
- Cristiano of Ronaldo (Siuuu!)
- Usain of Bolt (World’s fastest assimilation)
- Muhammad of Ali (Sting like a bee)
- Mike of Tyson (Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face implant)
- Kobe of Bryant (Mamba Mentality is compatible with the Hive)
- Shaq of O’Neal (The Big Aristotle)
- Peyton of Manning (Omaha! Omaha!)
- Wayne of Gretzky (You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take)
- Simone of Biles (Flipping over the competition)
- Roger of Federer (Classy drone)
- Rafael of Nadal (The King of Clay)
- Novak of Djokovic (Flexible drone)
- Stephen of Curry (From downtown!)
- Aaron of Rodgers (R-E-L-A-X)
- Patrick of Mahomes (No-look pass coordinator)
- Conor of McGregor (The Notorious B.O.R.G.)
- Ronda of Rousey (Armbar specialist)
- Tony of Hawk (Do a kickflip!)
The Library Card Holders (Literature & History)
Look, sometimes you want to sound smart. You want a name that says, “I read books,” even if you actually just read the Wikipedia summary five minutes ago.
- William of Shakespeare (To assimilate or not to assimilate?)
- Romeo of Juliet (Bad ending for this unit)
- Hamlet of Dane (Too much hesitation. Defective unit.)
- Macbeth of Cawdor (Is this a dagger I see before me?)
- Othello of Moor (Jealousy is a green-eyed monster)
- Pride of Prejudice (It is a truth universally acknowledged…)
- Sense of Sensibility (Sensible drone)
- War of Peace (This download takes forever)
- Crime of Punishment (Guilt ridden drone)
- Moby of Dick (Chasing the white whale ship)
- Gatsby of Great (Old sport)
- Mockingbird of Kill (Lawyer drone)
- Catcher of Rye (Phony-hating drone)
- 19 of 84 (Big Brother is literally watching)
- Farm of Animal (Four legs good, two legs assimilated)
- Lord of Flies (Who has the conch?)
- New of World (Brave new drone)
- Fahrenheit of 451 (The temperature at which paper burns)
- Hitchhiker of Galaxy (Bring a towel)
- Ender of Game (The enemy’s gate is down)
- Dune of Arrakis (The spice must flow)
- Harry of Potter (You’re a wizard, Drone 7)
- Hobbit of Shire (Second breakfast is irrelevant)
- Narnia of Wardrobe (Lion, Witch, and the Cube)
- Hunger of Games (I volunteer as tribute!)
The Dad Jokes (Pun Intended)
This is it. The peak. Puns are the highest form of humor because they cause physical pain in others. If you name your character one of these, you are winning the psychological war.
- Piece of Mind (I’m losing mine)
- Sick of It (Tired of your nonsense)
- Out of Order (Broken drone, do not use)
- Change of Heart (Transplant unit)
- Leap of Faith (Assassin’s Creed drone?)
- Point of View (From my perspective, the Jedi are evil)
- Rule of Thumb (Measurements are approximate)
- Slip of Tongue (Oops)
- Neck of Woods (Local guide)
- Crack of Dawn (Too early for this)
- Barrel of Monkeys (More fun than a cube of drones)
- Grain of Salt (Take me with one)
- Bed of Roses (Careful with the thorns)
- Drop of Hat (Ready whenever)
- Man of Hour (It’s all about him)
- Life of Party (Just kidding, Borg don’t party)
- Flower of Wall (Introverted drone)
- Bull of Shop (Clumsy drone in a china shop)
- Fish of Water (Uncomfortable environment)
- Apple of Discord (Chaos starter)
- Bone of Contention (Let’s argue)
- Breath of Air (Fresh)
- Chip of Shoulder (He’s got a grudge)
- Dose of Medicine (Taste of your own)
- Flash of Pan (Here today, gone tomorrow)
The cubicle Farm (Everyday Jobs)
The Borg assimilate entire planets. That means they get the plumbers, the accountants, and the middle managers too.
- Admin of Sys (The guy who resets your password)
- Blue of Screen (The terror of Windows users)
- Coffee of Break (Union mandated 15 minutes)
- Circle of Back (Let’s touch base offline)
- Reply of All (The monster who emails the whole company)
- Meeting of Zoom (Can you hear me now?)
- Spread of Sheet (Excel wizardry)
- Dead of Line (The panic sets in)
- Water of Cooler (Gossip central)
- Nine to of Five (Working for the man)
- Casual of Friday (Hawaiian shirt day on the Cube)
- Out of Office (Auto-reply enabled)
- Sick of Leave (Calling in “sick”)
- Pink of Slip (Layoffs are coming)
- Tax of Return (April 15th is scary)
- Call of Center (Your call is important to us…)
- Tech of Support (Have you tried turning it off and on?)
- Sales of Rep (ABC – Always Be Closing)
- Middle of Management (The drone that just forwards emails)
- Human of Resources (Toby from The Office)
The Final Countdown
We made it. 250 names. My fingers hurt.
- Best of Both (Worlds – the classic episode)
- Jack of Trades (Master of none)
- Ace of Hole (Hidden advantage)
- King of Hill (Propane and propane accessories)
- End of Line (Reference to TRON, because why not?)
How to Build Your Own Monster
You’ve seen the list. Maybe you hate the list. That’s fine. Make your own. It’s like LEGOs, but with words.
The “X of Y” Framework
This is the classic structure.
- The X (Individual): In the show, this is a number. In our world, it’s the subject.
- The Y (Group): In the show, this is the Unimatrix size. Here, it’s the context.
Example:
- Subject: Queen
- Context: Hearts
- Result: Queen of Hearts
The Unimatrix Flourish
If you want to go full nerd—and I know you do—add the “Unimatrix” part. This is where you specify the location.
- Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero One.
Real World Translation:
- Dave of Accounting, Senior VP of Unimatrix Cubicle Farm.
Resistance is… well, you know.
I joked earlier about the Borg being scary. And they were. But taking something that scares you and turning it into a joke about SpongeBob SquarePants? That’s powerful. It’s how we humans deal with the unknown. We laugh at it. We name it “Boaty McBoatface.” Or in this case, “Boaty of McBoatface.”
So go ahead. Rename your Wi-Fi. Change your gamertag. Confuse your coworkers. If we’re all going to be plugged into the hive mind anyway, we might as well have cool names.
Catch you on the flip side. End of line.
FAQs
Why are the Borg considered a humorous subject today, despite their terrifying origins?
The Borg are now considered humorous because we have come to see their rigid and threatening nature as ripe for comedy, especially through playful name mashups that exploit their cold, collective identity.
How can I create my own funny Borg-inspired names for my tech gadgets or online profiles?
You can create your own names by following the ‘X of Y’ framework, which involves combining an individual subject with a group or context, and optionally adding the ‘Unimatrix’ location for full nerd appeal.
What is the significance of using pop culture references in naming your Borg-inspired aliases?
Using pop culture references adds familiarity and humor, creating a clash of styles that enhances the comedic effect while making the names more memorable and personalized.
Why do people still obsess over the Borg despite Star Trek: TNG ending decades ago?
People obsess over the Borg because they reflect modern fears of technology and cyborg-like integration, and humans use humor to reclaim their humanity by mocking what terrifies them.
What is the purpose of turning something scary like the Borg into jokes or funny names?
Turning scary concepts into jokes helps cope with the unknown, reducing fear through humor and allowing us to subvert and reclaim control over fears associated with technology and the future.
